What matters in life?
I wish to thank my pal Pan for exalting the excellent article of Dave's entitled
“Does a big and luxurious apartment really matter that much?”to the forefront
,
and my gratefulness goes to Dave for sharing his insightful thoughts with us.
It has become truism that mother in laws tend to bear grudge against their son in law for not amassing great wealth to afford an extravagant lifestyle for their
daughter. It happens in Zhuhai, and it happens in Calgary. An old Chinese proverb said long ago, all ravens under the sky are equally black! Being a son in law
we just have to shrug off that feeling of guilt, carry on with life and pursue
wealth and happiness at our own comfortable pace, and in ways that stood the test of time.
As we go through life day in and day out, it’s imperative to have a clear grasp
of what the most important things in life are. Spouse, kids, love, health, parents, siblings and even friendship are the main ingredients of happiness in life.
Granted, wealth is also an important part but it should not be defined as a critical part. To a man, happiness is the ability to fulfill his responsibilities,
put food on the table, keep the wolf from the door (I believe the wolf here is a
metaphor for hunger and poverty), buy that bouquet of roses on anniversary day,
buy that Barbie doll or that Game Cube on the kids’ birthday, buy that electrical massage armchair on Mom’s birthday, and ensure that the spouse can rest at
ease knowing that the family’s retirement saving plan is chirming along and not
sailing astray. If happiness is an end, then wealth has to be the means. There
has to be sufficient financial resources in place to carry out the above caring
gestures and put happy smiles on the faces of the loved ones. In this sense, it’
s true that the end can justify the means.
It’s unwise to pursue wealth at all cost, for wealth is not the ultimate goal,
health and happiness is. A man needs to be attentive to his personal health and
endeavor to strike a balance between career and family life.
There are ten sections in a man’s life that make up the roundness of his wheel
of Life:
HealthFamily and friendsFinanceCareerEmotionPersonal growthRelationships / RomanceLife management skillsPhysical environmentFun & recreation
If a man’s Wheel of Life is round and well balanced, than his life will roll forward in smooth motion, otherwise his life journey will be a very bumpy ride. In
this age of materialism, wealth has been labeled as the only yardstick to measure success. But great people such as Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Einstein, and great
philanthropists such as Bill Gates and Warren Buffett have given us a second standard to measure success, a standard based on moral and love for the human race
. A man’s achievement can be measured with his net worth statement, but in a larger than life way it can better be measured with his contribution to scientific
breakthroughs, peace or betterment of life for all human race.
In the first phase of a man’s life economic achievement can and should be the front and central pursuit of all, because without monetary resources a family cannot withstand the demands of life, as two old Chinese sayings state, “There are
a hundred things to feel sorrow for a poor couple”, and “It’s difficult even
for an adept hostess to cook a meal without rice.” Adequate income is what guarantees the viability of a family, and the fuel to keep it upstanding, stay warm and continue to thrive. But once a man gets through the threshold of sufficiency, in the following phase he should shift his focus a little and devote more into other areas such as personal health, personal growth, family quality time and
recreation. Continuing to strive for pecuniary rewards with no end and without
regard to other significant aspects of life is a biased and reckless approach to
life, especially when it has a price tag of risking personal health.
A wise man knows when to draw the line and say no to greed and temptation. A wise man is capable of keeping his Wheel of Life in good balance, he remembers to make time for love and family bonding, he knows when to stop and smells the roses
, when to meditate in solitude, when to write his own obituary and read it aloud
, he knows to work hard and play hard, to accomplish great feats in life butalso devote time to give tenderness and caring to his beloved family members. A
wise man knows that life may not always give him what he wants, but it will
always give him what he needs, he knows life is transitory and he’s only givenlimited time to learn the real lessons and to demonstrate his love, passion and
commitment for his presence. A wise man knows true happiness derives from
contentment and true success derives from fulfillment, and both happiness and
success derive only from within, not from artifacts possession!
Neil
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