I’ll Never Be Young, by Daphne du Maurier
I’ll Never Be Young, by Daphne du Maurier
This novel of Daphne du Maurier had an impressive start but a fairly mediocre ending in my opinion. I hope that the life trend of Richard, the protagonist of the novel, doesn’t reflect that of most people in this world. Otherwise, life should sting whenever in retrospection.
Richard, young and disobedient, was disillusioned with the family and life he had, with the result that he attempted to commit suicide on a bridge in London. The detailed exploration of what’s on Richard’s mind, given by Daphne du Maurier
, thrilled and terrified me at the same time. It was as if I were in Richard’s
situation---the feeling of desperation and fascination, which overwhelmed him, washed all over me as well.
Just when Richard was about to chuck himself over the bridge, Jack, who newly came out from prison, grabbed his shoulder and saved his life. They went travelling together afterwards, leaving their respective past far behind. Both of them enjoyed the drifting journey, though with a slightly different attitude. Jack, after the seven years’ isolation in prison, longed for the company of the reclusive nature, whereas Richard longed for experiencing every aspect of life. In contrast, Jack was as wise and cool-headed as Richard was naïve and hot-headed.
Anyway, they continued to struggle together in the journey, and probably would have continued still but for the ship wreckage accident. As a result Jack died whereas Richard was saved. He travelled to Paris and chose to settle down there. Here the writer’s passion for Paris was revealed by the affection Richard held toward the city. It was merry, busy, and oblivious of the sad past. But when I just started to have expectation towards Richard, he disappointed me.
Instead of striving to make a life independently, he chose to write to his family for their sympathy and assistance. The five hundred pounds check ended his exploration in Paris; so did it end my sympathy for him. He started to move to a better house, started to practice writing, started to woo, and started to enjoy the easy bit of life financially backed up by somebody else.
Frankly, I understand what Jack said to Richard that "...You don’t train yourself. You don’t know about discipline. That’s a whole lot of you that you’re too lazy to bring out…” to the same extent as that I don’t understand how Richard could think writing is a grant for funds from his parents. I would think one
’s life probably is not so great if one couldn’t even support oneself.
The novel ended with Richard’s return for his father’s funeral. The last chapter of the book was full of wishful thoughts: “From my window I look down upon the little square. The trees are green in the garden opposite. There is the clean
, fresh smell of an evening after rain. Somewhere, on one of the branches of the
trees, I can hear a bird singing. A note that sounds from a long way off, sweet
and clear, like a whisper in the air. And there is something beautiful about it
, and something sad. At first he is lost, and then he is happy again. Sometimes
he is wistful, sometimes he is glad. He seems to be saying; ‘I’ll never be young again—I’ll never be young again.’"
I felt tight in my heart when I finished the novel. I felt as if I were the source of wishful thoughts; and because of that I felt resentful. But then how glad
I was to be myself again; and how relieved I was to think that I could live my life far better than that. I think one should always remember to watch one’s step when one moves on. Otherwise you will really need enough courage to face the melancholy and disappointment later in your life.
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