My Little Marriage Story
My Little Marriage Story
I rarely tell anyone that not only have I got married, but I have got married almost a year now. Because I think that most people believe that getting married is a very special and holy thing, they will get startled or even shocked, if they
hear my little getting-married story.
I didn’t tell any of my family members, not even my beloved sister, when decided to marry my friend. One day we walked on the street and suddenly my friend turned to me and said “Why don’t we get married so that my country will never be
able to refuse your getting into England.” I thought about a second and said “
Why not.” So we did.
It was a fine afternoon when we got our marriage book and walked out the transnational marriage bureau in Nanjing. If you think that one must feel special the day when he/she gets married, then you are mistaken. My friend looked at me and smiled: So we are married now. I smiled back: Yes, we are. After that, as usual,
we went around the city for a restaurant. Both of us were starving because we neglected the lunch in case we missed the bureau office opening-time.
We ended up sitting in a newly-built underground cuisine plaza and had two bowls of beef noodles. After that we went to the suburb of Nanjing to visit a friend
, who was a retired teacher and had tried to take care of my friend when he first came to teach in Nanjing. She was such a motherly lady. My friend showed her our marriage certificate at the dinner table, and she looked at my friend as if he were her son and I were her daughter-in-law. That night she helped us settle in a local hotel. When she left, tears welled up in my friend’s eyes. I was quite sad but said nothing and just hugged my friend into my arm.
If one has to feel special the day when he/she gets married, then that moment was my special moment. I felt that my friend and I’s life were strongly bonded together and nothing could ever easily break us away from each other. There were so many moments that only we ourselves could remember and bring up later to reminiscence. I think it was all these accumulative small moments and things that bonded us together. It was like I became the witness of his life in Shanghai in 2005 and 2006, and vice versa. Sometimes nothing could be sweeter than that.
Anyway the next day we got up very early and packed everything up before going downstairs to have breakfast. The breakfast was for free; therefore you could imagine what it was like. I had a tea egg and a bowl of lukewarm rice porridge with
some picked Chinese cabbage, whilst my friend sat beside me, stared at me and complained he had nothing to eat. I laughed my head off, because he just couldn’
t adapt himself to the breakfast taste no matter how hard he tried. Later on the
way to the city center, we had to run into some roadside convenience store to get him something.
We went to climb a mountain that day. It was such a lovely day and there were so
few people around the mountain. We sat at the top of the mountain, looked at the wide range of greens around the mountain, enjoyed the breeze, and felt very relaxed yet very peaceful. My friend, and now my hubby as well, invited me to take
the cable car. It was such a wonderful experience. Suspended in the air surrounded by the almost attainable pine tree leaves and the chirping birds, I joked to
my friend that it was not such a bad honey moon trip at all.
The night when we went back to Shanghai, I called my sister on her mobile and told her I got married. She was not surprised at all. “This is just like you.” I
felt relieved that she didn’t blame me, and was convinced once again that no one could ever know me as much as she could. I didn’t tell my parents until the
day before I left China. I didn’t know why but I did it anyway. Probably because I didn’t want to make a fuss about my marriage, but I knew they would. As usual, my mother cried on the phone. My father asked me to look after myself and to
remember where I could turn to if I were not happy. It was that moment that I couldn’t control my emotions and got very upset. But I knew it would pass and I
would have to leave anyway. After all we all had to move on.
The first few weeks I arrived in England it had been difficult for me. The sort
of isolated feeling haunted me once and again. The business prospect was quite slim when looked in the cold and grim winter times. I started to doubt what I could achieve here, and as a result doubted if I had made the right decision to leave everything behind and try to start everything afresh in another totally different country. I felt there was just so much history of my friend in this environment that it was impossible for me to fit myself in. But somewhat I did in the
end.
Now it has been eight months since I came here, and almost one year since we got married. It is so strange to see how the stereotyped marriage can’t fit in my
case. Maybe I hadn’t been grown up in so nice an environment, I always remembered people who got married with merriness but later would quarrel over
little things as if there were nothing better to do in their life. My friend and I had, and we still have, disagreements. If it were before I probably would sulk and irritated him by not wanting to communicate. But our time spending together has improved both of our temperaments and made us more sensible and considerable toward each other. I think so anyway.
This reminded me of one scene in Friends when Chandler got paranoid by Phoebe, who claimed to have found a soul mate for Monica, what Monica said to Chandler: I
don’t believe in soul mates… I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship… Here I absolutely agree with Monica. There isn’t a relationship that can work long without the care from both of the parties.
Soon it will have been two years that my friend and I have known each other and
one year that we have married. Though probably we won’t take much effort to celebrate it, both of us believe it is memorable. Now when I pass some glamorous wedding dress shops, it is strange that I still don’t feel regretted that I never
had the chance to wear a wedding gown. Nor did I ever ask for a diamond ring. Nor a marriage celebration party. Nor exquisite marriage albums. Nor a luxurious
and romantic honeymoon trip. But believe it or not, the little marriage I had was sufficient enough for me. And I do think I felt as sweet, if not more, as those who had all of the aforementioned, and our relationship is as strong and special, if not more, as those who have gone though all the ceremonies.
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