New Streams of Life (22)
New Streams of Life (22)
It’s been over a month I have taken on this full-time offer from a local shipping agency. The feeling of great expectation and newness towards the work has started to wear off. I actually feel a bit lost where I can and want to go from here and now.
I did learn a lot in terms of shipping terminologies and the practice of them, as this company deals with import both from EU and non-EU countries. But the problem is once I got a handle on it, there isn’t much new that I could gain from the experience.
Earlier on I talked to my friend in the car that I got a bit bored about what I
am up to at the moment. I probably was supposed to feel content as the job offered me financial stability and allowed me to socialize with different people. But
I didn’t feel that way. Not even close. In a way I was even getting annoyed to
know I would get paid soon. It is unbearable to think that’s the worth of my time. So average, so trivial, and so unimportant.
I have to admit I feel lost again. My inner desire to do something different didn’t get satisfied in this company, my experience in this company made me realize that probably I would never feel satisfied with working for other people. I just feel I should be doing something different and something far better than what
I am doing now. It sounds silly, but I just can’t brush it off.
During the past month I had translated a few documents for my old client from America. At this time last year he was working for other people, but now he has achieved his year-long dream of working from home and working for his own business
. I was so happy for him. I promised to help him with more documents in the near
future, as helping him will enable me to keep in touch with him. It’s just so
inspiring to have somebody like him around, one who never thinks about giving up
.
I also said goodbye to my translation agency at the end of October. I was so fed
up with waiting around. Now I still have my student. But instead of waiting around to get paid, I can just invoice my client directly. Besides the student, I still keep my language exchange with the French girl. I don’t know how far French can take me, but I don’t really care. I think probably I wouldn’t have had so much fun in the first place if I wanted to learn the language to, say, work or
live.
For me language is my access to another world of fascinating culture and people.
The longing of going somewhere often makes me feel desperate about my current situation. I hate to think that I probably will have to wait for my yearly holiday to go somewhere; I hate to think that my dreams will break into pieces if I let myself work and rust away in a company in which everyone is just so replaceable.
I think probably all this is the reason that I am so supportive about what my friend is doing at the moment. Sometime he said he knew his parents didn’t have faith in him and didn’t think he would become succeed. But so what? I actually didn’t know why he cared about what other people think of him. Isn’t it the most important thing that he has faith in himself?
According to official statistics in England three- quarter of the young people think it is worthwhile to strive to become an entrepreneur, and ten percent of the people are doing it at the moment. On the one hand I don’t want my friend to think himself being very special and different. But on the other hand I don’t
want him to get disheartened either, especially by his own parents.
I think in one’s life sometimes there are really just one or two decisions that
could make a whole difference of your life. But then your decisions essentially
are just based on what you think. If you project yourself as low and average in
this society then in most of the cases you will, and vice versa.
For me I don’t know where I will be and what I will be doing, say, in one or two years, but I do have faith in myself that I can achieve something better than
what I am doing now, which is working from-nine-to-five. As I haven’t been battered by what happened to me in the last few months, I don’t think I ever will
in my life. Likewise I don’t want my friend to get battered by the grim reality
either.
The other day my student (who is the owner of an import company) asked me if I knew anybody interested in working for his company warehouse at Christmas time. My friend’s mother kept suggesting me to persuade my friend to work there. In her opinion money seems to be the only thing worthwhile in the life. She seems never to be able to understand anything otherwise. But I am just so glad that now I
can just easily brush her off by paying her handsomely every month.
I do think that being parents it’s really selfish to force your ideas about this world onto your children, especially when your ideals tend to be subjective. I
don’t think I would ever try to tell my kids that how hard I had worked to achieve whatever I would achieve. I do think that the world has changed comparing to decades ago. These days working hard is not the smartest thing to do any more.
If you still choose to work hard you probably just end up slaving away for other people, as because you work so hard you don’t even have time to think any more.
But on the other hand I also understand that most of the time we can get inspired simply by having people with similar thoughts around us. Unfortunately in reality elites always just belong to the minority. Otherwise they won’t be called elites in the first place. I am just so glad that I myself have long since got over the stage thinking how unfavorable I didn’t have anybody around to inspire and help me. And I still think if I don’t give up upon myself, I should achieve
something far better in due course.
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