Tips on Befriending Foreigners. A reply to Lillian123
Hi Lillian,
Despite the linguistic and cultural differences, I don't think making friends
with foreigners is much different from with Chinese fellows. Better still, according to my own experience, most foreigners are more open-minded, easy-going and
frank than we think they are, and thus you can say it's no harder, if not easier, to get along with them than with your country folks.
But cultural differences shouldn't be discounted. I mean there are taboo topics among them which they would prefer not to probe into, especially when you are
no more than acquaintances. As an English fan, I am sure you must have learned
some of these no-no topics, many of which are considered private matters. It's
well known to us all that asking them of their age, weight and income is a big
mistake. Also on the "don't ask" list are subjects concerning one's political and religion views and maybe sexual mores. Only when you have become close friends can you pry into such sectors, but, it's still not a good idea that you go up
recklessly rushing into what they are not ready to discuss about. Taboo subjects aside, just summon up your courage and enjoy as much fun in your conversation
as you can.
How do you make friends with your fellow classmates from the same background?
Yes, you have something in common; always happy to share something with each other. Befriending with English-speaking people doesn't require an English authropologist, either, but you will have to have mutual interests, or mutual friends.
Your post gives me an idea that your American friend likes to learn Chinese, and it sure is one of the perfect media for you to base your friendship on. But
also judging from your -- sorry I have to be blunt -- spoppily-written English,
you'll have to think seriously about improving your craft to catch up with him.
What do you say you start with using capital letters where they belong and with
the proper usage of punctuation marks? It's no shortcut, but I am sure your American friend will immediately sit up and take notice of your change, positive change.
One most important tip is be sincere. You can't expect to win his trust, and
friendship, if you just keep blowing hot air or talking through your hat. If your partner seems to enjoy showing off his typing speed and slang language a bit
too much, just politely ask him to slow down a bit and spare his slang abracadabra. That's better than that you go haywire and begin using lazy English or that
you hold your breath like an oyster. Soon you will find more fun, and ease, in
your communication.
Last but not least, do not forget to tell him how you enjoyed the conversation
and his company. A simple "it's been a pleasure talking to you" is never out of line. This kind of "parting shot" is a fine "fuse" for an enjoyable talk next
time you meet him on MSN.
Enjoy,
Pan.
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