New Streams of Life (31)
New Streams of Life (31)
If you shed tears when you miss the sun, you also miss the stars.
--- Stray birds
I quoted this sentence when I wrote to a French friend this morning. There was so much sadness in her diary that I start to worry. Sadness makes people grow, the other is illness. While the later was not controllable, the former is inconceivable.
Maybe melancholy is unavoidable for young people, as there is always so much disagreement between you and your parents, your lover and then the world around you
. But I find hard not to forgive them. The girl sounded so unhappy but I think
it will pass. She will grow, and so will her unhappy thoughts evolve.
I had decided to head for Cornwall to get my car with my friend. Life had become
quite stale recently, which to me was worse than anything, even the physical discomfort. I feel the urge to make a difference but I find impossible to acheive
in the current environment. Though the daily routine is nerve-racking, but it
is not as unbearable as the fact that until I make up my mind nothing can help.
But fortunately all is going to change and I can’t wait. E is like a wasteland
deprived of any that is mentally memorable. My landlady’s complaint of the cost
of everything reveals her deprivation of any other kind but worries of her survival, the lowest worries of the mankind. No, I don’t need to live to see the daily proof of survivalism, despite of my sympathy.
I want to move closer to London where there is plenty of access to museums, galleries, public libraries, and even theatres. Going to galleries is almost like to
have a silent intellectual dialogue with the painters. They revealed their outsight of the world, bare and naked, in front of you. You may seek to disagree or
you may simply stop to observe the world from a different pair of eyes.And sometimes that's all what I need to forget the present and move forward.
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